First time

December 21

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Today, I was home. Today, I had a dental surgery. Today, my wisdom tooth was removed. Today, I experienced a lot of pain, and it made me realize that I am not ready to die just yet.
The surgery went well, it was the aftermath that hurt a lot. Papa, mama and I all wanted to watch a movie after my dental check up. But it did not happen as planned. After the dental surgery, I felt weak, as any patient would feel. And so, mama and I went home, and ate ice cream. I slept for the rest of the afternoon to ease the pain. When I woke up, it was still hurting. I want to cry, but crying only made it more painful. And so I got up from bed and went to the sala where my parents were. I was still in pain, so papa bought pain reliever, and then we ate dinner. As we did, I felt strange. My vision was blurry, it was spinning and I can't focus on eating nor listening to what my parents were saying. And so I told them, "Nahihilo ako," I held my head, leaned on a chair. Then I did not know what happened. I passed out. The next thing I knew: papa was holding me tight especially my head, and mama was telling me something like "kaya mo yan." that's when I felt conscious. After that, they moved me from dining table to the sofa, fed me with rice and soup and took care of me. I saw and felt fear in our eyes. It was really unexpected. Mama told me that I was shaking when I passed out and so they held me tight.
Grabe, I did not know that it happened at all. Basta I woke up then, feeling weak to move.
In that moment of my life, I have realized I was not ready to die (I already thought of that possibility). I still have lots to do and lots to accomplish. I still have lots to apologize for and lots to be grateful about. I must never give in with what may hinder me. I must be strong. With the Lord beside me, I know I can do this.
You may say, nahimatay lang naman, di naman masyadong grabe. Well for me it was since it was my first time. Through this, I was able to realize again the blessings that I have and the hardships that I must face and surpass.
I am really blessed to have a family like what I have now. I am blessed with love and care around me. 

Center

What is your center? If he chose you, you must have something important in you.
What makes you you?

Once again, I have pondered for myself such simple thoughts with deep impacts. The first line was from the movie, the Rise of the Guardians. because of that, I remembered again my past experiences, especially through ASLA. :)

My center? Just like Jack Frost, I don't know. I have not fully discovered it yet. Nevertheless, I know what I wanted to do for now. What I know is the Lord is with me, and as I make Him the center of my life, I would be able to do so much, more than what I think I am capable of. But it does not end there, I myself must also be engaged in things and activities that would lift me up and make me grow personally. In this way, I would be able to lift others as well, just like a guardian. haha

okay. the movie was so great that I extracted simple lines and details from it and applied it to myself.

next, one important thing is to believe. Believe in what you want to believe, especially to something that you treasure and to what you will stand for as long as you live. It is never too late; as long as you have a reason to believe, you can believe. :)

next, "how can I know who I am, when I don't know who I was?" another applicable line, huh. now I'm assessing myself. haha, who am I in the past, and what made me who I am now? as the second line in this entry says: what makes you you?

don't be so busy bringing joy to others to the extent that you have no time to be with them.. the most important thing is to create memories with people that you love the most. Just be with them, be there for them, and it would mean a lot

"I know it, I can feel it... in my belly."

Understand

A lot has happened to me this week; and above it all, I have learned something more about Understanding

This week is a mixture of happiness, sadness, disappointment, and anxiety due to many circumstances.. This week, I was hurt, I was afraid but eventually I became happy and satisfied..
This week, I have regretted things but I also have treasured moments..

At some point, it was really difficult; it was like hanging on a cliff, and thinking if I should let go or not. Thankfully I didn't let go. It is because of understanding that I considered the consequences for the choices that I will make...

This week, I was able to apply what I have learned in the Institute: to understand the situation; to act rather than to react. For a lot of times I felt like I should be the one to understand. For a moment, I was physically  but unintentionally hurt; For a while, I was forgotten. I specifically felt lonely. But will I let it devour me? Will I let my sadness take over every second of my life? Of course not, sayang ang time. I understand; I wanted to be happy, and so I will be. Though the pain is still there, it was, nevertheless, lessened and healed. What was left now was a scar, a sign that I have experienced something and that I have learned from it.

My teacher said that the greatest spiritual maturity is according to how a person responds to the weakness of the other. I think what he was trying to tell me was, knowing that the other person experiences something as his weakness, how can try and help him or her? well, first, understand the person. and then, see him in what he can become, and not in what he is now. Even great people make mistakes, but do we see them according to their petty imperfections? di ba, NO. We see them as someone who contributed so much as to influence many people around the world. maybe in this way, i will also try and see other people.

my approach to mean things

When you feel like someone or something is demeaning you, what are you going to do?
You might say, well, I will just ignore him/her, it's not true anyway... but then, if it's true, you might say, how dare he/she talked to me like that! who is he/she to say such mean things. with matching emoticon pa. haha.

anyway.. easier said than done; when you are in such situations like that, it would really depend on how and what one should feel.

I do not intend to talk about a certain someone, I just wanted to express how I feel about this idea/situation.

First, no one can make you feel inferior but yourself; likewise, no one can offend you unless you yourself chose to be offended. Those mean words, bad treatments done to you won't affect you much unless you let it within you. Yes it hurts, but don't take it in, especially if you know that you haven't done anything wrong.
It has always been the tendency of people to judge others, especially their imperfections. From those judgments come misunderstandings, up to the point of "personalan na," in Filipino...  So if you don't want any fight or problems, stop judging, unless that would lift a person's feelings and improve his/her behavior...

Second, if I will be placed in that situation, I might as well accept their judgment about me. I, or we, cannot please everyone - that's a given fact. now, what we can do now is to improve ourselves. Let us use those negative ideas about us as motivations or opportunities to improve, step up and be the person that others did not think we are. That would be a counterattack to people who look at us negatively or wrongly.

Third, ask the Lord for help. There will be situations wherein we would not be able to control ourselves especially when the judgments about us are completely wrong. Pray to God for comfort, to be cool and calm in handling these situations. Count 1-10 as you inhale and exhale, and ask for guidance. The Lord will always be there to help us, so don't ignore nor forget about Him :)


Sometimes, we won't entirely know why a person does or says offending things to or about us, but whatever their reasons are, we, who could understand more, should consider certain things that has affected the situation and understand why it became like that.

ciao.

November Experience

My last week of Sem break was spent in Pangasinan

I missed my family, and I was excited to impart what I have learned in ASLA. I was able to share some, but not everything yet. We spent every day in Pangasinan very well. Almost no idle time, just at night before everyone rests. we went to Manaoag, Dagupan and Baguio; I missed going there. And for the first time, I am going to miss an animal that I thought I never wanted, a dog. haha! specifically, my lola's dog. Hero is just a sweet dog, I forgot the breed, sorry. :)) He sniffs your feet or legs, and wants you to pat his head. What I love most about him is, he is malambing and he does not bite. I just noticed and realized now that his eyes were like telling me that he is scared of people that's why he is just that kind.
Time moves, and so must we. after that week, my tito brought me back at the dorm, and second sem starts...

Still, a lot has happened this month, not only for me, but for the whole world.
there is the earthquake that struck Visayas, the typhoon Yolanda that went through Tacloban and other neighboring islands, and the non stop relief operations held almost around the world.

wait, for me first...
I lost my phone, this month, I forgot when, but I completely remember where: in UP town center.. I went back to check on it, but I found nothing.. well, it's ok for me. I still have Kuya's phone, and my Sun number, so just text me through that number.. :)
I have also had philosophical and theological conversations with my course-batch mates :)) haha. This is what I call an application. I always feel wonderful whenever I share my insights philosophically and sometimes theologically according to the situation. I know these subjects are those that I will treasure the most with my Ateneo Education, that is why I am savoring and using every bit of it. :) lol parang pagkain lang :)))

An inspiring movie... Ip Man I and II. These were such good movies, so nationalistic. Mr. Ip would do just anything to protect his country and his people through what he does best: Wing Chun. :)) It almost made me want to learn the moves. haha. Watch these guys, you'll never regret spending time for it. :)

anyway...

now for the bigger matters. The country experienced great challenges and sorrows this month. Again, there were the typhoon and the earthquake, both struck at the middle part of the country. These were both saddening and alarming for everyone. Our church has emphasized again on the council given to us years ago about the 72-hour survival kit, and how we should prepare both temporally and spiritually. The Lord has a purpose in all things. Just a personal opinion, maybe, somehow we are little by little forgetting His ways, His standards, His commandments; maybe we are indulged in matters that does not please, which is why He needs to remind us once again of His power - that only through Him, we can be eternally happy, that the things of the world will only give temporal happiness and a sense of guilt with the wrong acts that we have done. I really don't know the reason, but the Lord does. Whatever His reason is, I know it is for our own good..
As we all saw, these tragedies also brought everyone together in an action that would help the victims, without considering any deeper constraints (like religion or cultural beliefs), only the transactions and transportations of the goods. I was able to see and talk to dedicated people during these times and was also inspired to give myself and do things that would help the relief operations. It was a heartwarming experience. Truly, giving service is not exhausting. I have always looked for opportunities to help others, and through this, I was able to grab one. I always want to help; if only my body's health would not deteriorate, I could have done more. After a week of helping, I got sick. No complaints, though; I am always thinking that the victims of the disasters were experiencing more than what I do. I am just glad that I was able to at least help in simple ways, especially when I was physically able to do so.

it was such a humbling experience. Now, I am thinking of how we could even celebrate Christmas, while thinking of other families who need help.. Well maybe, I'll figure it out this month. :)

October experience

"Step Back. Think about things well. Choose. Act."
-Guido Sarreal (Thanks, Kuya Guido!)

I can definitely say that I have had a fruitful October this year. A lot has happened and I was able to endure them all...

The month of October every first sem is the deadliest, (haha) because this is the month for finals exams, final papers, orals and mock proposal thesis defense for us. Even though it seemed like a lot, there were certain lessons that I have pondered and gain through these experiences before taking a sem break.

First, in everything that I do, I should be honest, whether or not somebody is looking. Like in our Epidemiology finals, due to some problems, our final exam were conducted online at a certain time. That experience gave the evil side a lot of advantage for temptation, to all of us who took it, to just look at the notes while answering an online exam, nobody would see it anyway... well, nobody?? How about the Lord? If you did that won't you feel guilty, even if you received high grades after? Well, I stood by what I believe in, I answered the test without cheating. Afterwards, everything felt so light, considering the fact that that was my last exam for the sem... :)

Second, in my oral exams, I have learned about the importance of real life application. These subjects like Philo are not only studied to learn, but also to use it or integrate it in every experience that we'll have. Applying the lessons taught here, (also in LS, and Theo), would make us think broader, and deeper.

Third, you just cannot accomplish everything on your own. The more task you do, the more you will need others to help you. Indeed, being dependent is good, however, do not ignore the fact that other people are there to help you. I have received a lot of help for this month: from my friends, blockmates, thesis group mates, my family, my church friends, my org mates, and my God. They were all there, beside me, to help me through it all. I will be forever grateful for their love and service.

The last two weeks of October was sem break...
I spent the first week at home. It has been months since I stayed there for a long time. I felt secured, protected, and happy in my home, with my mom (Papa is working overseas, Kuya is a missionary in CDO, Philippines). I told her a lot of stories and experiences that I have had this sem, it was all wonderful, and I'm glad to let her know everything, down from acads to personal life. :> she is my best friend, I just can't keep any secret from her. :')

the second week was spent with the ASLA community. October 22-26: the memorable dates of my life. no time wasted, everything's fired up with passion and love, as I discovered myself once again, along with my batch mates who share the same vision and dreams with me. We were all able to grow and develop our self-awareness, see the importance of others, immerse ourselves with the people in Antipolo, so that we will know their daily experience and be inspired to take action because of that, and to take steps in fulfilling our dreams for our own communities through day 6.
It was such a powerful experience. The ASLAns were able to move me and were even helping me ignite the burning desires of my heart. I am in Day 6, and I will always be here because I will never stop giving myself for my organization. Yes, I have many dreams in life; but then, as of now, where I am needed the most is where I will devote my time to. And I know in my heart that I am needed at my church organization. Now that I have learned so much, what I will do is to share it to others. I will help in any means possible. I have become more dedicated and motivated with the work that I am doing.. I found "my because" through my journey in ASLA, and I will always continue shaping that "because" in a way that the Lord wanted me to.

Purpose

Everything happens for a purpose.

This is my statement of the day. haha. Since Sci10 class, ito na ang "theme" ng araw ko. I have learned the 6 seconds of the Big Bang, which started from singularity, to the formation of Life in just a corner of the universe. I was really amazed on how Doc Sio discussed the Origin of the Universe so clearly. nagka- "ah" moment ako nun. I understood what Father Ben Nebres tried to say last plenary session. HAHA. ang galing ni Doc Sio! :)

next.. huhu. last session with Sir Jallorina for Physics Lab! GRABE ang practical exam. halos mamatay-matay kami sa kakaisip ng sagot. haha. pilit lang mga ngiti namin jan sa picture. lol. Thanks for the picture Marvs. :D

as i said in my twitter, I felt down and blessed at the same time. Ask me personally for the specific details haha. Because of this, I, again, realized that everything that has happened gave a purpose to my life. Everything that I have known, understood and felt not only this day, but also everyday; not only in terms of time, but also in terms of places, things and people. Everything and everyone came to my life with a purpose. I also learned how to appreciate it today - that even a tiny moment in my life would mean a lot to me. 

Weeklong experience

HI again.
after a week of MIA, I am back again to express myself with my experiences and realizations for the past week that I had. Here it goes :)

September 22:

The rain's not stopping. Still I attended church service and got to spend my time with the Lord, and lots of work after (later in the evening). Push lang, last 3 weeks na lang eh (at this time) :))

September 23:

I woke up at about 7 or 8, then when I got down from my bed, I found out that classes are suspended. SO yeah I ate breakfast and get all the work needed to be done, supposedly, haha. I also watched movies at the same time, pero di ko rin natapos :))

Chat with Blue Symphony friends, as we planned to hang out somewhere this day. And so we did, sa Bo's Coffee, Katipunan: Rein, Jessa, Nicole, Marc, Guido, Jez, her friend, Joana, and of course, me. :) ayun tambay lang. bonding time. haha. sabay nasagi yung coffee at nabasa at namatay yung laptop ni Jez... I felt her sadness, laptop kasi, almost all files are there, and wala pa siyang back up drive. so, nakakatakot. pero anyway, it happened already, at kaya pa namang ipaayos yun. I just hope everything will be fine after the shop repairs the gadget.

anyway. I have learned a lot today. I had the experience to have an evening conversation with intellectual people. We talked a lot about the school, their past experiences there: horror, academics, love life, and lastly about philosophy and religion. I am glad that I was able to share a part of the gospel, the Word of Wisdom. 

Here I reflected and realized how important the Institute is in my life as a Latter-day Saint. Since many people do not know a lot of our religion, I should be ready or prepared to share what I know and what I believe in and live by. I felt a warm feeling of joy within me as I share a simple thought about the gospel. Now I felt more motivated to continue what I planned to do after graduation - to be under the Lord's care, to be a sister missionary, for 18 months. :)

September 24:

yes, we have classes na.

we watched Rashomon movie in Philosophy; the movie is based from the short story: In a Grove.

you may click on the hyperlink to know more of the story :)

basically it just tells how different people perceive a single thing or event differently. and this perception/view satisfies what they want, and not the truth. in the movie, it was somehow implied that man is naturally evil, but at the end of the movie, the viewers were given a message that despite this evil world and mostly bad people, there is still some hope in mankind, because of the genuine kindness within ourselves. 

Zumba night: so refreshing! :D

September 25

Preparation for LS orals. sometimes I get the feeling that I am not really meant to be in the business world. yes, nakaka enjoy, but I don't think I won't love it for a lifetime. haha, sorry business-minded people :))

Today our department head, Doc Sio, asked us to give time to share this needed information: 

come on guys, let's help Zamboanga. 

the donations will be until October 1, because on October 2, the materials will be brought there. let us help as much as we can :)

Today I learned that Ma'am Cuyegkeng and Roldan had helped Arn (founder of Blue Symphony), when he was at his worst times and situation as the Blue Symph org is starting. I was really touched with the compassion, love and concern that they have given to Arn to help him with what he was going through. without their help, Blue Symphony will not be completely established as it is now. :)

September 26:

the LS orals was fine naman, we were able to answer the questions well. I hope we had good grades :)

good vibes with good grades in Histo today. haha. more motivated to study! 

Jogging session naman, then dinner and bonding time with Blue Symphony friends.

September 27:

I attended a talk today about Public Health. This was discussed by Mr. and Mrs. Swanepoel. Their services in Palawan are inspiring. Though they said that they don't earn much in such Organizations, they still pursued and sacrificed a lot for the people in Palawan to teach them about reproductive health and many more (especially to young mothers, and children). Mrs. Swanepoel even mentioned that Public health professionals are needed today in the Philippines, and you don't have to finish a medical degree to be a health professional (well, that made me think), because having this degree is only a bonus point. well that talk gave a point for me to be a public health professional. lalo na when they described the impact that they made with the people, despite a lot of difficulties :) It was a nice experience. thank you health sciences society for that COT. :)

September 28:

Disney night. I'm with Ina, Enzo and Rafa. then, with the Blue Symphony friends. hehe. we had fun. the orchestra performed beautifully and lovely. I was really attracted and brought there and back again to Disney. I felt like a kid for a time. haha. I was blessed to witness wonderful people imparting their great talents to us, their audience. It's such a blessing to have music in our lives. As Mr. Gerard Salonga said, music teaches a lot of things that could make the world a better place; things like discipline, diligence, etc... not only does it give us a good feeling, but it also brings us up with good attitude.

All in all, I had a lovely and blessed week. Now I feel ready to face another set of challenges again. I know I won't be alone. This week, I choose to face everything with courage and confidence. :)

September 21

GREAT DAY! super fun, 24 hours of fun experience :D

1) Project LAAN Kapihan Session in Galvaville, Calamba Laguna
Okay, so wala sa usual na kasama kong Health Sci friends ang kasama ko ngayon, except for Rafa. Pero bonding with other Health Sci friends, sounds fun. And yes, it was! :)) Grabe ang dami kong tawa hahahha. They were fun to be with, kahit asaran ang peg. kasi alam namang joke joke lang yun :))

this is their community. It was a wonderful community; even they are far from the city, and the many buildings and stores, I could say that they live peacefully. When we interviewed the mothers and the grandmothers here, and asked about the problems, they could not think of any, except for health problems due to the location of their place and the health centers. Aside from that, there was nothing else.

We played with these kids, haha, medyo fail yung game but everyone enjoyed. We, the facis, lost all games. haha.

Kapihan Baby 1 = 1 marshmallow inside the mouth without chewing
Kapihan baby 2 = 2 marshmallows...
paramihan sila. of course, everyone won the prizes :D

because it rained...

Next...
2) Blue Symphony Party
KASI ANG TRAFFIC. We were stuck at the bridge near Ateneo for more than an hour (yung so close yet so far ang peg) hahahah. kasi Enzo and others are waiting for me to go to Miggoy's place, where the party was held. Ayun, di tuloy ako naka costume hahaha! my shirt was LAAN shirt pa, pero oks naman. :)
I missed Blue Symphony agad, haha clingy much. ang daming alumni, I felt like we were dominated. haha! pero oks lang, they haven't seen each other for a long time, and besides, it is Blue Symphony's birthday, so everyone who is a part of the Organization is warmly welcomed. ang saya lang! haha, daming pagkain and some pakulo care of Angela and Luke :D
Some pictures with my friends!!! :D sorry for the low quality :))

With Voldemort, I mean, Nik! haha. our Bassist :D

With Christa and Jessa: Violinists

 With Enzo: Flutist, VPOps :D

With Jez, Violinist..

With Arn, one of the founders of Blue Symphony :D

With David Ples, Cellist, and VP HR

With Sir Miggoy, Pianist Section head. :D  hahahah

With Axel, Prod. member, he's a member of every PAC orgs. :))) edi siya na, haha!

With Nicole, Flutist :D

With Willa, Cellist :D

Marami pang pictures, sa iba, haha. ito lang sa akin. basta you get the point, I had fun! :D We all did. Buti walang alcohol drinks. haha. para less problem/danger/conflict, more fun and bonding. haha! I love Blue Symphony family :D

But wait, there's more... Enzo, Jez and I went to Maginhawa, QC pa to watch Guido and Jed in their gig. We saw Jette and Paps there. so nakapagkwentuhan pa after... :D

September 21 WAS REALLY A BLAST. If I was not a part of any of these Orgs, this would not have happened to me. I really felt blessed and happy that day. Not only was I able to serve other people but I was also able make them happy. I am blessed to meet everyone in Blue Symphony, they are all wonderful and inspiring people. :)

Back

Sorry, 5 days absent sa blog. haha!

anywaaaay...
Significant moments in my life so far...

September 18
Sci 10 plenary session with Fr. Bienvenido Nebres, about the origin of life/universe.

ASLA GA. I became more excited and interested of what will happen to us, and especially to myself. How will I feel and realize after that 5 days in Antipolo? What will I do at day 6? I am already wondering what part of my self will change or improve. Basta, i am so excited, kahit na may nagsabi na ibblender at babasagin daw kami. Challenge accepted na! :)

September 19
Orals in Science 10: I really love Doc Sio, nag pinoy henyo kami and almost 15 minutes kong hinulaan ang hinahanap niyang word. haha! nakakahiya na nakakatawa at nakakatuwa. :>
I got this thesis statement: "the more I examine the universe and the details of its architecture, the more evidence I find that the universe in some sense must have known that we were coming." -Freeman Dyson

after our classes and this orals, i jogged with Renee, pero I had cramps kaya I was able to jog for 20 minutes lang. nag stretch and exercise na lang ako like sit ups, jumping jack, sit and reach, etc. :))

September 20
FRIDAY. Plenary Session with Fr. Jose Ramon Villarin about getting green and go mainstream.

He borrowed my ring to ask everyone in the hall if we could survive for three days, first, without a bottle of water (the one that he's holding in his right hand), or second, without a ring (my ring, in his left hand). Because I admire Fr. Jett, I wanted to take a photo of him, but then, sakto when I was taking his picture, he turned around and called my name and asked me if I can survive for 3 days without my ring. To my surprise, I immediately put my iPad down and unconsciously said NO. haha! they all laughed, even Fr. Jett. haha, I was supposed to say yes. pero, wala na. hahahah! nakakahiya (medj hahaha).
katuwa... well, we have many photos with him, I even have a selfie with Fr. Jett, my profile picture on FB now. :D They were all envious haha. nahiya na talaga ako. I said thank you, and I received a tap on the head. :))

Otaku Cafe with Nadine. :) at the MVP Roofdeck

me and Nadine. hihi :>

okay! Good vibes all the way.. even in the last practice for Blue Symph this sem... EVEN IN OUR THESIS MEETING. WE WERE ALL SO HAPPY, it was very productive and successful. :)

Okay. work work work.
Next blog.. LAAN, then, party party party moments :D

Jolly

Since Sunday, I have been blessed to feel good and physically well. :)

I was able to attend the whole church service again. and I really felt inspired, but hungry. haha. So yeah, that day was also the UAAP Cheer dance competition; unfortunately, ADMU didn't win, pero I still know we were so great and that they performed well, so it's okay. bawi bawi next time. 

Monday: usual, daming meeting.. pero bonding pa rin with group mates. with the established relationship, being able to open up anything with them is not a problem..

..hmm, rehearsals again.. my first time to see most of the Blue symphony performers again after some weeks. Some were not present, while there some who came back and who are new. And yes, masaya pa rin! :") group hakot, then group dinner and bonding sa Kenny's :>

Tuesday: no philosophy 101 today. :( my day is incomplete. haha. will just read Dr. Dy's handout na lang.. sa SA naman, reporting, free food! haha. KFC. :)) 

anyway, we jogged at Moro Lorenzo Sports Complex today, me and Ina.. such a refreshing feeling. 

ang bilis ng panahon, tapos na kalahati ng September, next niyan, October na.. pero kahit ganun, we can still do our best and seize every moment that is given to us. Mabilis na nga eh, let us go with it, do not let it pass by. Let us pace up with time and keep ourselves busy as we enjoy and love what we do.

Dreadful with Purpose

0913
A depressing day of my life. was it also because of the date (friday the 13th, as they say)? well, I do not believe that, pero I was really sad because of the long test, but I was then comforted by the principles and doctrines that I have learned in the Institute.

Sakto ang lesson. It was just what I needed.
We talked about the Books of Enos, Jarom, Omni, Words of Mormon and Mosiah 1-3

--> I was reminded again of the importance of keeping records: it is for the benefit of the future generation, for them not to learn about their ancestors, and not repeat the past mistakes that were done.

--> When you feel happy, converted and blessed, you would also feel that others must experience it as well, and that is why we spread the gospel. :)

--> If you are motivated by LOVE, you will never give up. (Applicable to anything, kahit hindi love life. haha) seriously, ito na motto ko. haha.

--> Let us come unto Christ for us to be guided and protected. "If we give our all, we will get His all from the greatest of all"

--> Then we were asked, What can you give up to come completely to the Savior? Something to ponder about... take note that sacrifice is giving up something good for something better...

--> The Lord knows all things that will come. So trust in Him, because He works in us to do according to His will, if we remain faithful and obedient. What I remember about this is the quote from the book "The Alchemist." Sabi dun, when you desire something, the whole universe conspires to help you get it. Well, it is because of the Lord. As I have said from my past blog entry, if we desire something, God will give it, especially if it is according to His will. The Lord makes the universe work for us, so that we can achieve what we desire.

--> Lastly, Do you want to be happy? Do you want your problems to be solved? Do you want true and lasting happiness? if yes, then SERVE.
through service, we can help others get their needs, and we can help ourselves feel, grow and realize that our problems are just small things compared to others.
I'm sure most of us have already felt a kind of happy feeling when we serve others, it is really different from the feeling when we were just having fun because of material things. That feeling of joy when serving is really comforting and heartwarming,. di ba, di ba, di ba? :))

so there, fruitful night. My sadness earlier in the afternoon was covered up by these principles that I have realized again. :)
Everything has a purpose, and the Lord knows what purpose it will serve for me... :)
As Joseph Smith said, "Sometimes, the Lord brings us low, before He can lift us higher." :)

Wet and Wild

0912
HAYYY What a day! it's soooooo fun!!!

I am glad I didn't cut LS today. We had fun presentations about innovative products. haha. Everything was interesting and creative :)

the highlight of my day is the activity: wet n wild. :) I invited friends and I luckily ended up with Blue Symphony friends as one group, with Nick: Jc's friend. Before the event, I was getting discouraged about not attending the event anymore, kasi, I might get sick, moreover, I have exam the next day. On the other hand, I thought that it was I, who invited them here, tapos ako pa yung hindi pupunta. So, yeah, pumunta ako.. I borrowed a red shirt from Nicole, and we're ready to go!

First thing they asked of us was to make a cheer.
We were the Red Orchs (Orchestra, Orchids, call it anything. haha). basta we're in red. :))
the group consists of Me, Nicole, JC, Jerick, August, Luke and Nick.
I like JC's attitude of being competitive, it motivates all of us. I saw that he really wanted to win, pero syempre he can't without us.

unfortunately, we did not win, pero we had fun! more bonding.. more closer as a team, and as Blue Symph friends. Syempre, nabbring up pa rin yung concept about music in every activity that we do. We tried our best to show that we're from Blue Symphony!  haha.

It was so fun!! I had a good time, before facing the most dreadful experience in my life.. (next blog) :))

Priorities

what a day!

lots done, and still lots to do! haha

I still feel blessed today. I hope I can manage my time tonight so I can accomplish many things. Lord help me.

Something new: meeting with Blue Symphony Week people today.
Something else that is also new: Tonight, it proves that I have a weak right ankle. </3 haha.

anyway.
I enjoy the Philosophy paper today. I feel motivated to contribute more! pero, I still have to study SA, and Physics.

I know the Lord will help me. I just need to focus on my priorities :)

Have a good night every one.

Eat, drink and be merry for starting tomorrow I will be on a diet. :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY ROOM MATE RENEE MARIAE :)

today is a busy day as well.
I stayed up late last night because I was transcribing an interview. pero oks lang. medj inspired. pero medj bangag, hahahha!

grabe natakot ako kagabi. my room mates were telling me stories about conjuring, eh I stayed up late pa naman. Good thing there is a radio website that uplifts me. It may do the same to you, too. visit yldsr.com : full of positive and uplifting music. haha.

anyway. a lot has happened today. one of the unexpected was: the rain. it rained hard. huhu. pero everything must still go on. we had fun consultation with VP HR of Blue Symph, David Ples, and the Piano section of the orchestra :) haha. Na-miss ako ni Kuya Dolf. Hi Daddeh! hahaha. na-miss niya lang ako kasi kukunin niya yung Heartfelt, este Heartstrings series sa akin. HAHA.

ayun, I was able to dance again, with Renee :) We felt so refreshed despite the gloomy weather... we ate at xocolat to celebrate her birthday.

:D all is well so far. but still, lots to do.
haha. back to work na :>

ciao.

Control

Haha. I wonder why that is my title... :))

Anyway, yeah, busy days. but I'm inspired, not only by someone but also by everything around me. I am blessed to see them and experience them. Though there are some factors that almost ruined my day, I know it was still my choice if I would let them make me feel bad.

Yesterday, I was able to hear some words of wisdom about work and philosophy. :) To summarize it all, what he said were: choose a work that you love, whether it is according to your skills or interest, then do your best for it; money is important, but not the most important; there should be a balance perspective about earning and helping/serving others as well: that is social enterprise. From everything that he said, I could say that he loves what he has been doing, however there is still a part where, as he mentioned, it does not satisfy him. His being ambitious attitude urges him to do more, and work more... haha, oh well, more about this on our paper. :)

As I was about to go home (still, yesterday), yes, it was the usual act, usual pathway that I walk into. Pero when I crossed the pedestrian, a car stopped (syempre), and beeped the horn at me. after lumagpas, he shouted at me saying "pang-sasakyan kasi yung daan" (or something like that). Well, sorry for crossing. kaya nga may pedestrian lane eh. for people to cross. and why is it only me? other people cross that road as well. So far, I know I did nothing wrong, so I ignored the person and the car and let them pass by. Deep inside, there was the other side of me that wanted to be angry. But I did not let it, I should have a good day today (I said to myself), so I went home and tried to forget that experience. :))

Reflect

It's a Sabbath Day.
For the Catholics, it is also Virgin Mary's birthday.

I brought Gem to our church. She seemed okay with the ambiance and all. I oriented her a bit about our church and about what she observed about the people and everything around. It was a wonderful feeling for me, to have the opportunity to bring a friend at church and acquaint her with our views, beliefs and standards. I felt more excited to invite others din. hi reader, just tell me if you want to, I'll gladly give you my time and introduce our church and religion to you. :D

uhh.. there is something that I have somehow reflected upon tonight. It is about Marriage, or those related to that.

Recently, I just heard about people, especially celebrities, getting involved with immorality, those videos, getting pregnant though unmarried, and many more. It felt so negative for me. Even if for most people, for the world, it seemed to be normal and okay for them. I watched some interviews about those people, and the reaction and expressions on their faces were like: "It's okay. It's normal to have a baby even before marriage. We will be married, and we will support and love each other anyway. It's okay for the world or as the world sees it, it is just an ordinary circumstance. So, it is also fine with us."

NO IT IS NOT. for me at least. :)) I know, the people who has the same high standards as mine will agree with what I have to say about this...

Recently, a friend and church mate of mine, just 14 days older than me, was just married to a worthy young man. I am so happy for her. When I told this news to my other friends, not members of the church, their reactions were doubtful. They instantly thought that something happened (negative, I think), that's why they have to be married soon, considering also the fact that she is just as old as I am. Pero no, don't you see? It's not about the age, it was not about getting married early or as soon as possible. It is because of love. They love each other so much that they have preserved their purity for each other. To tell you a fact, getting married like the friend that I have mentioned is highly recommended by our church leaders, kahit hindi pa tapos sa mag-school. I think one reason also is so that they would not be tempted to commit sin (before marriage) anymore. Because of this friend, I have seen the beauty of marriage, and being clean and worthy before it. Parang gusto ko na rin tuloy ikasal. HAHAHAH.

well, the point is, everything that relates to marriage, love and having the power to create is really sacred. It may be a norm for the world, pero it is not for the Lord. This is a sacred matter. Knowing news such as those recent ones are not something to be inspired of (sorry, pero it's the truth). We all understand things differently, and maybe some may comprehend that that showbiz news would let them think and consider na okay lang pala yung kasi pati celebrities ginagawa yun. Pero it is not. It must not work that way. If only people consider these things as important as how the Lord sees it, they would approach in a different way siguro :))

oh well, these are just some thoughts today.
Spend the rest of the night with the Lord. >:D<

Blessing

What an experience!

I had a great day since yesterday. Starting from the ASLA results, until tonight.
I remember last night, in our Institute class, our teacher told us to be careful of what we desire because most of the time, the Lord grants it, whether it is good or bad for us. As long as we desire it, He will give it. So yeah, I thought about this desire of mine - to have the opportunity of participating in ASLA. and yes, He granted it. I am so happy. I feel loved and heard by the Lord. It is indeed a blessing that I will treasure forever. In return, I will use this opportunity to give service to others and especially to Him.

OOOOPS. Deja Vu. waaaah. HAHA. I've seen this before: I was browsing through the pictures in the ASLA 12 results album. yun pala yun! I have dreamt of it once (I think), and it looked familiar just now. maybe I was really destined to be an ASLAn. Now, I feel really blessed :D

anywaaaaay.

I am VERY VERY HAPPY, excited and really looking forward on the future events :D

---------

Today...

was tiring, but fun!
NSTP part 2 lang ang peg. haha. I joined Serving Spoon activity. And it was a wonderful experience. I got to spend my time with kids today.

Here's Lugie. :) medyo nagdrama itong kid na ito, haha, parang gusto lang ng motherly care. nagpayakap lang siya. pero umiiyak siya before. tapos nung inalagaan ko na, nag-ala "baby" ang peg. hahaha. pero oks lang. :D nakakatuwa. :))

Ito naman si Rain/Rein? hahaha. cute boy! ayaw makipagpicture. inakbayan ko siya, pero he hid his face. when I removed my arms around him, akala niya di na rin nakatapat yung camera, pero joke lang yun. kaya medyo nakapagpicture kami. at ito yun (3rd picture). hahaha. 

I really had fun!! I was able to do so many things that I wanted. No regrets today. :D

Counsel

Another inspiring day in the Institute.

I was reminded once again of the things that could get in the way between me and the Lord. There are the worldly things that, if used in the wrong way, would lead me away from Him (e.g. media, addiction, drugs, wealth, etc.). And what must be done is to always stay close to Him by praying and continually studying His gospel. If not, if we will look beyond the mark, which is Christ, we will fall into misery.
It is important to counsel with the Lord in all that we do, for He counsels with wisdom, justice and mercy. So, if ever you need help and it seemed like no one can offer help or no one is available to be with you, just remember that the Lord is there, always ready to help. Seek Him, He will be there.

I had a good day today. Many things to be thankful for! :)
I feel so blessed. :)

Thank you for the prayers, everyone.
Thank you Lord for every opportunity and experience in this life.

Now, I feel more inspired and motivated to do more, and to BE MORE. #iamhealthsci #related #hashtagdinpagmaytime #hahaha :)

Sleep

Grabe, crammer forever. haha. I was deprived of sleep last night. I had to review our history from the occupation of the Japanese until Marcos' Era. :)) mauubos na rin ang stock kong food dito sa dorm, I have to go to the grocery this weekend. Oh well, at least now it's done. I hope everything will be fine.

Sorry sa mga natarayan ko kagabi, I was really busy, and I was cramming. haha. 

so yeah, this day went by. I realized how time goes fast especially when you're busy and you need to accomplish many things - which is why we have to seize every moment, every tiny experience that happens, make the most out of it, at hindi yung minamadali na lang sa huli because it will just leave us with regrets. 

Yes, I did regret what I have done. I should not have crammed, I should have studied beforehand. Edi sana, I was able to be more productive last night and was not deprived of sleep. haha. Now, I suffered the consequences tuloy. lesson learned. :))

Luckily, with a divine help, I was able to read all the reviewers, pero syempre, it is still not enough. I slept 1-2hrs. before the alarm rung earlier this morning, and when it did, the usual routine, eat, take a bath, prepare things. during that time, I was not myself, haha. na-out of balance pa ako. LOL. 

so there, first subject: 7:30 - LS. my classmates and I were surprised pa of Ma'am Cuyegkeng's instructions: starting next week, she requires us to wear business attire, and she will have us lined up in the middle every discussion to recite. and then she kept on repeating the instructions (which includes the dress code, no notebooks, no gadgets allowed) since there are many latecomers. haha. for a moment I was a bit scared, I was already thinking ahead of what will happen to our class. nevertheless, we went on with the lesson. HAHA, it was a joke lang pala. we were played around, lalo na kasi our topic is about Change and Innovation. and that was the situation: what if Ma'am just decided to change the usual classroom type of sessions into business class (and then she observed our actions/reactions). haha, it was really fun and funny for all of us.

next class, philosophy. uhh, I love the lesson, pero I really have to review that time... so I just picked up some ideas from the class. Our lesson was about the phenomenology of knowing. and in knowing, there is the consciousness. To be able to perceive and object, there must be a reality of that object. there must be a perceiving consciousness that the object gives, or else we are just imagining it. :)) something like that :))

half day done... next half naman.. 

histo LT. huhu. sakit sa ulo, at inantok pa ko. I was able to answer everything. Well, nainspire ako especially when our prof prayed for us, and even read a scripture verse for us: James 1:2-5, one of my favorite scripture passage. This is what Joseph Smith (a prophet of our church) had read when he was confused with the different religions that surround him. This (James 1:5) left him a big impression to inquire of the Lord and ask for help. Now, it was applied to us; even if it is just an exam, it is still important, and if it is important to me, I know, it is also important to Him, kaya I know that He will help. connect connect lang. :)

and after 1.5 hours, the test was done! yay!!.. then, Socio-Anthro naman. lesson about health, culture, nutrition. :)) we stopped in the discussion about the "Supersize me"

theeeeen. YES, i felt freedom. HAHA. bonding moments with Ina (simula sa University Archives, hanggang sa bonchon, hanggang sa Oracle), Clang and Rafa. 

and then, I went on a deep sleep. haha. Sarap. pero bitin. :)) 

still, lots to do. :D

Kaya yan!

by the way, please pray for me to be blessed with the opportunity to be part of the organization that I applied to. the results will be on Saturday. I know, every prayer is heard and answered. so, tiwala. :>

Thank you so much!

Better

I'm so happyyyyyy, my skin's back. well, it's almost fair and normal, like before! Even though I went to the hospital alone, at medyo nahilo pa ako at inantok. oks lang. The doctor said that I will be fine and then he gave me some prescriptions if ever I will have allergy attack again. Remind me to immediately go for a check up kapag inatake ako ha. hahahah. :D As of now, I feel better. :D

oh yes, as usual, acads day, school stuff = medyo ordinary, medyo busy, pero kakayanin! Be optimistic! never give up, kahit mahirap. :)
I enjoyed my day today, especially in LS: about Organizational Behavior, Personality, Perception and Attitude; and sa Philosophy naman, I loved it when Dr. Manny Dy said something like this: "If you're doing it just for the sake of getting a grade or just accomplishing it, it is WORK, but if you're doing it because you want/love to express yourself not only to your teacher but to others, it is CULTURE."
I love the thought, it can be applied to anything that we do. pero well, in this case, he talked about our phenomenological paper.

A comparison between doing and finishing something just because it is required, and doing and finishing something because you love it and you want it as a part of your being (character, attitude, expression/feelings): That's work and culture respectively. haha. Of course I want the latter, I opt to do that.

...I also enjoyed today coz I danced (as an exercise). I really missed dancing!!

Well, the day's still not done. no time to loose now.

Ordinary Day

Once again, I have experienced an ordinary day. haha. I felt a bit bored though, coz I miss many things. Normal day: Sci 10, Physics classes. Saglit na meeting for thesis. All about acads.

No Blue Symphony rehearsals today. I wondered when and how will I see them again, habang wala pang rehearsals ulit. Fortunately, I was able to see some of them. Enzo's doing fine na! yay! I also saw Koko. I got to talk to JC, about some matters. He told me that he hasn't talked too much since Saturday night. It's good that today, he let it all out, expressed himself, his side/point of view about the situations/issues. I did not talk too much, just told him some things/words, which I hoped would help him in some way.

Well, the day has not ended yet, the CB of Blue Symphony including JC are still resolving the matters, as of now (I think), I hope everything will be fine soon. I do not want someone to leave the org because of these issues.

As an organization, I know we will still face more problems, even bigger burdens; and I think, as a whole, this would be just a small piece of the puzzle. I know that these problems could be resolved without any bargain that would hurt someone's feelings. I could see that the Blue Symphony family, especially the CB are unitedly working together to settle everything.

From these matters, a lot of lessons were learned and realized. I hope and pray that in the future nothing like this (or even greater than this) would happen again to the family that I have come to love.

Post-concert party

after the interview in ASLA, I went to ACGC concert: Rendimiento. My roommate's so good and pretty that night!! :") Nice one Gem. may mailoloko na naman kami sayo dahil sa choreography. Best dancer ever! hahahaha.

well, after that, we went to Nik's house to get together: Chuck, Nath, Migoy... I already know that they are going to drink, but I did not expect some happenings to be that so problematic...

First, everything is well, everyone's happy and enjoying games and bonding moments. Dun ako kina Tito, we were jamming. nung una, Tito was playing the piano. I played the violin for a while, and then guitar naman sunod. I also sing with the others. Kuya Albert, Gian, Kuya Arn, Patrick, JC and others were there. I really enjoyed this! :) Some people were playing cards naman, and then yung isang game na they will drink and admit something? tama ba? haha. i dunno, pero looks like it. yeah, umiinom na sila ng mga oras na ito. Everyone's seems to be enjoying and doing whatever they want to have fun :))

hmmm. next, i dunno ha, but after eating pizza and all, and talking to some people, I was surprised that there arose some problems, and when I knew it, it concerned me almost for the rest of the night. I won't mention names in this entry, it is too personal and private. these situations are not to be specifically told in public. I will just go on and tell you about how I felt with this kind of situation. I calmly talked to them. well, I understand them, their sides, concerns about the problem that had happened. sometimes due to the fact that most of them were drunk, I don't know if they are telling the truth or their emotions were just brought up by being drunk, kahit konti lang. This is really a concern for me, lalo na kasi they are my friends, and nagkaroon pa ng conflict at this kind of time when everyone should be enjoying. haaaay. sometimes I ask myself, if He was here, what would He have done to resolve this.
The problems subsided, a bit, pero they were not resolved. No one wants to make the first move and do something to lessen the problem.

After some people went home, we went with other stuff. Haha, nakakwentuhan ko si JC and Koko. HAHA. Like I was talking to a junior philosopher and a very ambitious man. it was fun, thinking that they were drunk makes it funnier. talking about stuff like they didn't even think about it. basta sabi lang ng sabi, kwento lang ng kwento. haha! naki-ride lang ako and I think I was able to give them advices naman :))

Before I went home, there were still some problems, and I heard some from Tito, especially those that concern the concert. Basically we still need more improvement. :)

Jake brought me home, pero medyo may hang over pa. buti na lang nakauwi ako nang maayos. I hope everyone else did too.

Opportunity

(August 31 experience)
okay. I admit. I was really nervous this week because of ASLA. hahaha. I was excited, but I was also nervous. during this week, of course busy, dahil ng concert, so medyo na-segue ang kaba. haha pero when Friday came, I was really feeling fast heartbeats. I asked Master Mesh Maini (MMM) early in the morning, before going to class (buti na lang napadaan siya, at least that day before the interview nakausap ko si Master) about what I should do. He was also my prof in Bio and I asked him for recommendation in ASLA, so when I found out na nakapasa ako, I thanked him and asked for his help na rin, for the next phase which is the interview. Natawa ako when he said na, parang ikaw si Hercules at ako sa si Phil., tapos training of champs. haha! champs talaga? :)) so yun, I ask him for advices and words of wisdom to motivate me. dahil sobrang kabado na talaga ako nung Friday and syempre nung Saturday, that I couldn't concentrate enough about the work that I must do, especially for thesis. minadali ko pa yung part ko, so it was not so good, kasi na-late pa ako nakauwi dahil galing din ako sa church.

by the way in our thesis, nasa storming phase na kami. there were some problems within the group, and good thing we decided to talk about it, para wala nang plastikan at pagpigil sa inis or galit or pagpaparinig sa isa't isa. we directly mentioned each other's concerns and faults, and thankfully we were able to resolve them. yes, we survived the storming phase. now we'll be more united. :)

anywaaaaay. so after nun, okay, nag lunch kami. my time for the interview is almost near. haha. kinakabahan ako. hindi ko na naubos pagkain ko and I was asking Ina and Clang to help me by asking me questions that were related to leadership and my experiences about it. To condition my mind lang. haha. at dahil dun, nag picture picture lang kami sa iPad ko. after that we were with Rafa, and we went sa dorm ko since nawalan ng kuryente. I slept for less than 30 minutes (to rest my body and mind. haha) tapos sila Ina, Clang and Rafa, they used my gadgets to do whatever they wanted. edi picture picture ulit, pati hanggang sa magising ko. picture ulit. haha!

quarter to 3, Rafa and I were waiting for Pat, since sabay kami ng time slot ni Pat for the interview. I asked Rafa to ask me questions (again, to condition myself, since ilang minutes na lang).  I'm glad my friends were there for me when I needed them. They have comforted me with their presence and support with what I am going to face. :))

so yun, we were at school already, Pat and I went to theo department faculty lounge, Chuck was already there. Buti na lang it was brownout, kung hindi, baka nilalamig na ako sa kaba. haha. Our picture was taken with our name and favorite superhero on a whiteboard. then a piece of paper was given, asking us, how our worst enemy will describe us. we can write our thoughts about it, pero I already couldn't since kinakabahan ako hahha, i just processed the answer on my mind.

Time came, it was my turn to be interviewed. I was interviewed by Bro. Ed, Maita and a lady from ASLA batch 4, (sorry I forgot her name, kahit na siya yung pinakamadalas kong tinitingnan when I talk). They introduced themselves first to me. The scribe in our meeting was a health science sophomore (medj nahiya naman ako, ASLA na sya, sophomore pa lang. haha.) anyway, so I also introduced myself and the orgs that I am in. The discussion was basically about my experience as an Institute of Religion Student Council President, the high and low moments/experience that I have had with myself and my colleagues. Since hindi pa naman matagal itong IRSC sa stake namin, I told them almost everything that had happened about us, our meetings, the way we organize and prepare activities for the stake, tapos nung nakipag combine pa sa isang stake. buti na lang I was able to express myself with this experience. There was just one problem (uh-oh), haha, they asked me why shouldn't they choose me to be part of ASLA. haha, honestly, medyo nagulat ako ha. I mean, I was selling myself the whole time for me to be qualified in ASLA, and then yun ang itatanong nila haha. Pero they were kind naman, they let me think for a time. and ang nasabi ko na lang is, I am selfish, impatient and something (I forgot). Yes I have those attitudes and these characteristics hinder me from being a better leader, na imbis na all will be well, there will be some little problems along the way lalo na kapag umiiral yung side kong ito. BUT, I immediately asked them if I can defend myself, haha, they let me naman. and I said, because of the opportunities that were given to me as a leader, step by step I am able to overcome these wrong side of me. Then they asked me how I define leadership. I told them as a leader, I do not believe that it is just giving or delegating task, but also standing as an example to them. I want my officers/subordinates/colleagues to see me as an equal person. it's not about the position, it's how you work as a team.

I'm glad the interview ended well. I had a great feeling since I was able to share some insights about my religion. I even mentioned that "who the Lord calls, He qualifies," when they asked me how did I arrive in that position, as the IRSC president. I explained the spiritual process that was done, and there I said that.

After this experience, I felt good, pero syempre kabado pa rin on the results. Now I am praying hard again, asking God to bless me with this wonderful opportunity.

Institute

Yes! finally, again, I was able to attend the Institute, after the busy month - rehearsals and everything else. I missed the church, and of course, I felt inspired again of the Spirit.

The lesson was about 2 Nephi 31-33 and Jacob 1-4 in the Book of Mormon. The lessons were patama sa akin. It's like I was really meant to hear that lesson and learn from it, and apply it in my life, especially for the ASLA interview... I felt guided and blessed that night to know more of those books and chapters that I have mentioned. We talked about love - love of money, love of worldly things - and pride, and how these apply, destroy and keep us away from the Lord. And what we should do to avoid these things: "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God...". Almost every verse that we discuss can be related to our daily activities even such simple act as saying morning and evening prayers. Now, I realized again that saying morning prayer would help us throughout the day and saying evening prayers would help us prepare for tomorrow. This is an action for guidance. We will be blessed if we do this.
There were also some lessons that were related in leadership. When the prophet Nephi died, it was recorded that he was really loved by the people, and why is it so? Because of his leadership. He was the type of person who will do anything for the sake of others, without thinking of himself. And at the same time he strictly obeyed the commandments given to him by the Lord. Now as a leader leads by example, people and his successors will be able to follow what he has done and continue doing good deeds. This shows his love for God. As my teacher said, "To love God even more is to love and serve others." So, if we really love the Lord, we can show it by serving others.

There are more lessons, if I could remember some, I'll just add and relate it to other posts. :)

Anyway, after the class, I asked for a priesthood blessing for my exams and for my interview for tomorrow. I soon realized a thought for myself, that once again, I have wanted something the most, that I'd do anything for it. I recognized for myself that this is how I do when I want something so bad, that I'd even ask for a blessing. I desired that the Lord would bless me with this kind of opportunity (to be part of ASLA). that is why :) I loved the blessing the Bro. Yu gave me, especially the last part where he blessed me that God would let my tongue loose for me to express myself and say what I have to during the interview.
Well, I also noticed that in his blessings, there are conditions: that if I keep His commandments, and read the scriptures and daily prayers, I will be able to achieve all those blessings that he has sealed upon my head. You just cannot get the blessings that you want, you have to work for it. effort effort din pag may time. :D

Next, I attended the activity of the Institute: The Q show. It is a talent-showcase night, and I was able to witness the God-given gifts that my fellow classmates have and have shared with us and the Lord. Altogether we enjoyed and felt motivated to join next time. :))

That day (last friday), I was able to talk with my best friend, Trina. We shared some secrets. haha. I missed her so much. It was a good day and night to be with the Lord and feel the inspiration.

Blue Symphony experience

Finally, I am a member of Ateneo blue symphony. It took two years to decide and to attend their concerts for me to decide that I really want to join the organization. Aside from other reasons, other passions and other commitments, I found myself attracted to Blue Symphony and their music. So yeah, now, looking back, I have no regrets, none yet, and I hope there won't be...

I miss rehearsals already. Haha. It has been a day since the concert, yet I already miss so many things, especially the friends I've made and the relationships that were established among us. I really love this family.

When I joined their rehearsals for the very first time, at the FA Annex. I was nervous, thinking that I will not be accepted, or my skills aren't enough for this orchestra. I even practiced for hours to prepare myself. That day was also the Project Laan Volunteer's GA, so yeah. after attending there, I went to the rehearsal venue. Nag sight read, and yun. since then, I have been attending rehearsals, getting acquainted with people and learning new music and skills.
Lots of memories were made - happy, sad, frustrating bonding moments: GA, group dinner, mga TRIP nila sa mga members, Blue Symph crushes, revealing of secrets, pag-practice sa labas ng FA Annex and sa bahay ni Nik, mga stories and experience ni Tito, pag-postpone ng concert because of the Habagat, tambay sa Berkeley, Oracle, and many more - MARAMIIIIIIII. and it's all fun, worthy to be treasured. Of course there were problems, and may nakwento na akong isa (see past posts), pero syempre it is part of the experience in friendship or whatever relationship there is.

because of postponement, our BIG EVENT was yesterday: Curtain's Up Concert. Yes, I was nervous, but I just imagined it as an extravagant rehearsal, wearing make up, long gown and all. We all enjoyed! It was really fun, full of energy and unforgettable. I heard some mistakes, pero it's fine pa rin naman. Everything went well.

I was touched, and felt determined to stay and improve with this org that I have come to love, especially when Ina was almost brought into tears as she heard me play with the orchestra. ha ha. I assured her that I will really stay with this org.

Sayang sa mga hindi nakanood. Well, see you on December na lang, as Tito said. :)

Busy day

Yesterday was the last day/night of rehearsals. We were there till 9pm at the FA Annex. Everything went well, pero ako, I feel so sick and tired because of worrying for today. I worked on our report for History, and read some notes for SA Long test.. Medyo hectic lang. :)) my head ached din, kaya I needed to wear glasses. 

Slept late. Woke up early. Hashtag push lang ha ha. I can do this!! 

As early as 630 we were already discussing histo and what to do about it. Naayos naman by 1030, and everythiing went well. I just dont know with SA. Uhh i haven't finished reviewing everything for the test. Stock knowledge reliance. Haha. Oh no. Plus I was sleepy pa during that time. I sure hope and pray that I will have good results. :)

Next agenda..  My first time to join the Blue Symphony concert... 

Oracle-sleep-went-eat-check-dinner-prepare-dressandmakeup-performance...

Haha. To be continued..

Allergy

I was absent on my classes yesterday, because of the allergy attack. My arms and neck were so red and itchy. I have no choice but to go to the hospital. Nagpasama ako kay Kuya Dolf, our Piano Section Head sa Blue Symphony, knowing that he's the most available person to accompany me. :))

So we went there, past 10am, waited for a long time for the Doctor, to only find out na he would just check me in less than a minute and refer me to someone else. haha. medyo BV and funny, pero oks lang kasi me and Kuya Dolf had fun when waiting. ang daming napag usapan. Bff's na kami. hahaha dami ding secrets (secret nga ba?) haha. nang-trip pa siya sa FB ko, nakipag chat, at nag comment sa posts at sa ibang tao, gamit ang account ko. medyo nakakahiya, pero nakakatawa. haha.

Ang dami ring kwento at topic. Yesterday was really fun. Pero yun nga, I was not able to attend the classes today, just the rehearsal.

After the check up and medication, I was, again, given a list of the foods that I am allowed and not allowed to eat. hypoallergenic diet daw, huhu. there you have it. Tiis tiis din. :))

Anyway, Rehearsals were fun, too, it's just too cold for a while. Si Tito, nang asar ulit. haha. No hard feelings though, coz we were all enjoying these (bonding) moments. :D

Ayun, bonding bonding din ulit with Jez and Kuya Dolf at the end of the day (dinnertime). :)

...As I ponder, what if I have no allergies, what if I am not suffering this kind of illness/symptom, what if I have a better skin than what I have now?... Well, I could have violated a lot of the commandments of the Lord when it comes to modesty and word of wisdom. I could have eaten different kinds of food without taking into account the effects of it in my body. Maybe I could have gotten fatter and unfit, I could have worn immodest dresses, which are not pleasing to Him... This side proves a purpose of why I have allergies. I may seem to be exaggerated to some, but this is just what I have thought of - why God chose me to experience this. Moreover, maybe He is also teaching me to be patient and responsible of the things I choose, not only on foods, but also in other aspects of my life (like friends, clothes, love life. ha ha)

Everything has a purpose, even this allergy of mine. well, now, I have no choice but to get well from it. :)

PS. Purple day yesterday :D

Philosophy time

Hiiiiiii (Haaaaayyyy) I finished my Philosophy phenomenological paper at last. though I am not so sure if I was able to philosophize the way they wanted it to be. ugh, why didn't they give a format or guidelines kasi. haha. Thus we really have to be self-reliant this time.
let me share with you what I have typed. If it does not look like a philosophy paper, at least consider it as my journal entry here at my blog. hihi :> thanks :D

My Faith, My Religion

Phenomenology of Being a Mormon (Latter-day Saint)

            Are you a Mormon? What's the difference? What comes to mind when a person hears this religion is the stereotype of men or 2 companions wearing white polo and black slacks with necktie and a nametag. Some will mention that Mormons have other book aside from the Bible, while some will say that they know that a person called Joseph Smith, Jr. is involved in this religion. Yes they are all true. These descriptions characterize a Mormon. I know, because I am a Mormon. And these are what people usually see and perceive about us. This brings me up to reflecting what being a Mormon really means and how does it affect me by first considering it as something that is separated from me, as if it is not part of my being, and next by embracing it again as my own, as a big part of my life. Before anything else, let me tell you some facts me as I live by my religion…

            As a Mormon, I have higher standards that I have to live. I was baptized when I was 8 years old (it was the minimum age requirement for us to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints). Even before I turned 8, I am already acquainted with the routine that Mormons do because of my mom. She made Kuya and I grow in the church, until now. Now, my brother is a missionary in Cagayan de Oro since June 30, 2012 and will be back on July 2014. I am here, studying in Ateneo de Manila, doing the best that I can in academics and as an example of my religion. I don't drink alcohol, wine, coffee, or tea. I don't smoke, say foul language, curse nor swear. I dress appropriately and highly value virtue and chastity, thus marriage and creating a family is sacred and important. It has been a constant habit of mine to always inquire of the Lord and what he wants for me. I always read His scriptures to receive inspiration and guidance; I listen to uplifting songs, which are pleasing to the Lord's ears. I attend sacrament meeting for 3 hours every Sunday, and Scripture Study class on a weekday to keep me guided and protected. Everything is centered at the Lord's gospel and commandments for me. Now, some will say and react that being in this religion is a lot more complicated, I say otherwise, it is liberating. I never felt neither restricted nor limited, rather I felt freedom and security. I am going to live by this for my whole life. How I exist now is because of how I abide by my religion.

            I remember, a friend of mine once said to me, "It's just a religion, it does not matter." I paused for a moment, I did not respond. And here enters my primary reflection. Indeed, it is a just a religion, just like any other sects. Everyone worships one God, who just happens to have different names. Everyone reads the same Bible and obeys the commandments written in it; everyone allots time to go to church, to pray and to praise the Lord. And to spread the gospel, every church has missionaries sent to places to proclaim the Word. Just do good things and you will be blessed and saved from your transgressions. Why would the Mormon Church be of any difference? I can exist even without that religion, and without being a part of it. I can just easily say that I am a Catholic, or a Protestant because in the end, it is still me, I sill am a person with religion. Saying this leads to the question, does my religion really exist? Or do I exist with this kind of religion? And does it really affect my identity as a human being?

            When I was in second Year College, our professor required of us a book to read in order to fully understand our lesson. I soon realized, after buying the book that this reading is not for me, for it is lower than my standards. It is not appropriate to be read by a student, especially by a Mormon like me. There were times when I was tempted to read it because it was somehow required to be able to participate in the discussion and to know more about the topic to dices, which is related to it (the structure of writing, not the story). However, I have to make a stand. Before I did, I consulted my mom, my Institute of religion teacher and my best friend about what I should do: if I should read the book or not and fail a test if ever there will be one about it. I was uncertain, but my teacher told and reminded me of this: "Do what is right, and let the consequence follow." Because of this, I realized how important my religion was to me. Using the secondary reflection, knowing that being a Mormon was just a religion, I was still able to be conscious of my actions - that the standards taught in my religion are the basis of my existence, even when I was little. If not, I could have decided to read that book immediately after buying it, and not taking into consideration the standards set by the gospel that I know. That moment, I was afraid to lower my standards just to please my teacher and say that I have read the book. That time, I was so worried of what the Lord will think of me if ever I chose the wrong decision. With this, I realized that even in simple decision-making, my religion is a part of it. It exists within me. It is a part of me that I cannot doubt nor deny. Not only am I living because of my religion, but I am also living for it. With my life centered to the Lord, I feel a sense of definite existence - that I exist for a reason, that I am a creation worthy of love and protection, and that I am also tasked to spread the love that I received to others as well, for them to realize their existence. As stated by Marcel, I exist: I have something to make myself known and recognized both by other and by myself. This is me, being a Mormon, being a Latter Day Saint. I exist with this religion, and my choices are very much affected by what I faithfully follow.

            You may ask, what happened after that experience? Well, I talked with my professor and asked if I could be excused for that session/class since the things that will be discussed are not appropriate for my standards. He willingly agreed after explaining my side. It was really a relief; there was neither exam nor recitation about the book. Everything went fine and I felt a sense of contentment.

            Being able to use phenomenological method in understanding my religion and myself has helped me look first at a general view, and next at a closer and specific one. I was able to savor the moments in that experience and see them in a clearer view. Now, the question should be, am I a Mormon? And, the answer will be, Yes, I am. I know it, I live it, and I love it. Or should you even ask me that; it is already manifested through the way I am, thus unifying myself, and my religion within, as a human being. I am a Mormon everyday, I live by this religion in everything I do; it is part of my body and my being. It is part of everything I experience in this mortal life.

--there you go. :)