Blue Symphony experience

Finally, I am a member of Ateneo blue symphony. It took two years to decide and to attend their concerts for me to decide that I really want to join the organization. Aside from other reasons, other passions and other commitments, I found myself attracted to Blue Symphony and their music. So yeah, now, looking back, I have no regrets, none yet, and I hope there won't be...

I miss rehearsals already. Haha. It has been a day since the concert, yet I already miss so many things, especially the friends I've made and the relationships that were established among us. I really love this family.

When I joined their rehearsals for the very first time, at the FA Annex. I was nervous, thinking that I will not be accepted, or my skills aren't enough for this orchestra. I even practiced for hours to prepare myself. That day was also the Project Laan Volunteer's GA, so yeah. after attending there, I went to the rehearsal venue. Nag sight read, and yun. since then, I have been attending rehearsals, getting acquainted with people and learning new music and skills.
Lots of memories were made - happy, sad, frustrating bonding moments: GA, group dinner, mga TRIP nila sa mga members, Blue Symph crushes, revealing of secrets, pag-practice sa labas ng FA Annex and sa bahay ni Nik, mga stories and experience ni Tito, pag-postpone ng concert because of the Habagat, tambay sa Berkeley, Oracle, and many more - MARAMIIIIIIII. and it's all fun, worthy to be treasured. Of course there were problems, and may nakwento na akong isa (see past posts), pero syempre it is part of the experience in friendship or whatever relationship there is.

because of postponement, our BIG EVENT was yesterday: Curtain's Up Concert. Yes, I was nervous, but I just imagined it as an extravagant rehearsal, wearing make up, long gown and all. We all enjoyed! It was really fun, full of energy and unforgettable. I heard some mistakes, pero it's fine pa rin naman. Everything went well.

I was touched, and felt determined to stay and improve with this org that I have come to love, especially when Ina was almost brought into tears as she heard me play with the orchestra. ha ha. I assured her that I will really stay with this org.

Sayang sa mga hindi nakanood. Well, see you on December na lang, as Tito said. :)

Busy day

Yesterday was the last day/night of rehearsals. We were there till 9pm at the FA Annex. Everything went well, pero ako, I feel so sick and tired because of worrying for today. I worked on our report for History, and read some notes for SA Long test.. Medyo hectic lang. :)) my head ached din, kaya I needed to wear glasses. 

Slept late. Woke up early. Hashtag push lang ha ha. I can do this!! 

As early as 630 we were already discussing histo and what to do about it. Naayos naman by 1030, and everythiing went well. I just dont know with SA. Uhh i haven't finished reviewing everything for the test. Stock knowledge reliance. Haha. Oh no. Plus I was sleepy pa during that time. I sure hope and pray that I will have good results. :)

Next agenda..  My first time to join the Blue Symphony concert... 

Oracle-sleep-went-eat-check-dinner-prepare-dressandmakeup-performance...

Haha. To be continued..

Allergy

I was absent on my classes yesterday, because of the allergy attack. My arms and neck were so red and itchy. I have no choice but to go to the hospital. Nagpasama ako kay Kuya Dolf, our Piano Section Head sa Blue Symphony, knowing that he's the most available person to accompany me. :))

So we went there, past 10am, waited for a long time for the Doctor, to only find out na he would just check me in less than a minute and refer me to someone else. haha. medyo BV and funny, pero oks lang kasi me and Kuya Dolf had fun when waiting. ang daming napag usapan. Bff's na kami. hahaha dami ding secrets (secret nga ba?) haha. nang-trip pa siya sa FB ko, nakipag chat, at nag comment sa posts at sa ibang tao, gamit ang account ko. medyo nakakahiya, pero nakakatawa. haha.

Ang dami ring kwento at topic. Yesterday was really fun. Pero yun nga, I was not able to attend the classes today, just the rehearsal.

After the check up and medication, I was, again, given a list of the foods that I am allowed and not allowed to eat. hypoallergenic diet daw, huhu. there you have it. Tiis tiis din. :))

Anyway, Rehearsals were fun, too, it's just too cold for a while. Si Tito, nang asar ulit. haha. No hard feelings though, coz we were all enjoying these (bonding) moments. :D

Ayun, bonding bonding din ulit with Jez and Kuya Dolf at the end of the day (dinnertime). :)

...As I ponder, what if I have no allergies, what if I am not suffering this kind of illness/symptom, what if I have a better skin than what I have now?... Well, I could have violated a lot of the commandments of the Lord when it comes to modesty and word of wisdom. I could have eaten different kinds of food without taking into account the effects of it in my body. Maybe I could have gotten fatter and unfit, I could have worn immodest dresses, which are not pleasing to Him... This side proves a purpose of why I have allergies. I may seem to be exaggerated to some, but this is just what I have thought of - why God chose me to experience this. Moreover, maybe He is also teaching me to be patient and responsible of the things I choose, not only on foods, but also in other aspects of my life (like friends, clothes, love life. ha ha)

Everything has a purpose, even this allergy of mine. well, now, I have no choice but to get well from it. :)

PS. Purple day yesterday :D

Philosophy time

Hiiiiiii (Haaaaayyyy) I finished my Philosophy phenomenological paper at last. though I am not so sure if I was able to philosophize the way they wanted it to be. ugh, why didn't they give a format or guidelines kasi. haha. Thus we really have to be self-reliant this time.
let me share with you what I have typed. If it does not look like a philosophy paper, at least consider it as my journal entry here at my blog. hihi :> thanks :D

My Faith, My Religion

Phenomenology of Being a Mormon (Latter-day Saint)

            Are you a Mormon? What's the difference? What comes to mind when a person hears this religion is the stereotype of men or 2 companions wearing white polo and black slacks with necktie and a nametag. Some will mention that Mormons have other book aside from the Bible, while some will say that they know that a person called Joseph Smith, Jr. is involved in this religion. Yes they are all true. These descriptions characterize a Mormon. I know, because I am a Mormon. And these are what people usually see and perceive about us. This brings me up to reflecting what being a Mormon really means and how does it affect me by first considering it as something that is separated from me, as if it is not part of my being, and next by embracing it again as my own, as a big part of my life. Before anything else, let me tell you some facts me as I live by my religion…

            As a Mormon, I have higher standards that I have to live. I was baptized when I was 8 years old (it was the minimum age requirement for us to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints). Even before I turned 8, I am already acquainted with the routine that Mormons do because of my mom. She made Kuya and I grow in the church, until now. Now, my brother is a missionary in Cagayan de Oro since June 30, 2012 and will be back on July 2014. I am here, studying in Ateneo de Manila, doing the best that I can in academics and as an example of my religion. I don't drink alcohol, wine, coffee, or tea. I don't smoke, say foul language, curse nor swear. I dress appropriately and highly value virtue and chastity, thus marriage and creating a family is sacred and important. It has been a constant habit of mine to always inquire of the Lord and what he wants for me. I always read His scriptures to receive inspiration and guidance; I listen to uplifting songs, which are pleasing to the Lord's ears. I attend sacrament meeting for 3 hours every Sunday, and Scripture Study class on a weekday to keep me guided and protected. Everything is centered at the Lord's gospel and commandments for me. Now, some will say and react that being in this religion is a lot more complicated, I say otherwise, it is liberating. I never felt neither restricted nor limited, rather I felt freedom and security. I am going to live by this for my whole life. How I exist now is because of how I abide by my religion.

            I remember, a friend of mine once said to me, "It's just a religion, it does not matter." I paused for a moment, I did not respond. And here enters my primary reflection. Indeed, it is a just a religion, just like any other sects. Everyone worships one God, who just happens to have different names. Everyone reads the same Bible and obeys the commandments written in it; everyone allots time to go to church, to pray and to praise the Lord. And to spread the gospel, every church has missionaries sent to places to proclaim the Word. Just do good things and you will be blessed and saved from your transgressions. Why would the Mormon Church be of any difference? I can exist even without that religion, and without being a part of it. I can just easily say that I am a Catholic, or a Protestant because in the end, it is still me, I sill am a person with religion. Saying this leads to the question, does my religion really exist? Or do I exist with this kind of religion? And does it really affect my identity as a human being?

            When I was in second Year College, our professor required of us a book to read in order to fully understand our lesson. I soon realized, after buying the book that this reading is not for me, for it is lower than my standards. It is not appropriate to be read by a student, especially by a Mormon like me. There were times when I was tempted to read it because it was somehow required to be able to participate in the discussion and to know more about the topic to dices, which is related to it (the structure of writing, not the story). However, I have to make a stand. Before I did, I consulted my mom, my Institute of religion teacher and my best friend about what I should do: if I should read the book or not and fail a test if ever there will be one about it. I was uncertain, but my teacher told and reminded me of this: "Do what is right, and let the consequence follow." Because of this, I realized how important my religion was to me. Using the secondary reflection, knowing that being a Mormon was just a religion, I was still able to be conscious of my actions - that the standards taught in my religion are the basis of my existence, even when I was little. If not, I could have decided to read that book immediately after buying it, and not taking into consideration the standards set by the gospel that I know. That moment, I was afraid to lower my standards just to please my teacher and say that I have read the book. That time, I was so worried of what the Lord will think of me if ever I chose the wrong decision. With this, I realized that even in simple decision-making, my religion is a part of it. It exists within me. It is a part of me that I cannot doubt nor deny. Not only am I living because of my religion, but I am also living for it. With my life centered to the Lord, I feel a sense of definite existence - that I exist for a reason, that I am a creation worthy of love and protection, and that I am also tasked to spread the love that I received to others as well, for them to realize their existence. As stated by Marcel, I exist: I have something to make myself known and recognized both by other and by myself. This is me, being a Mormon, being a Latter Day Saint. I exist with this religion, and my choices are very much affected by what I faithfully follow.

            You may ask, what happened after that experience? Well, I talked with my professor and asked if I could be excused for that session/class since the things that will be discussed are not appropriate for my standards. He willingly agreed after explaining my side. It was really a relief; there was neither exam nor recitation about the book. Everything went fine and I felt a sense of contentment.

            Being able to use phenomenological method in understanding my religion and myself has helped me look first at a general view, and next at a closer and specific one. I was able to savor the moments in that experience and see them in a clearer view. Now, the question should be, am I a Mormon? And, the answer will be, Yes, I am. I know it, I live it, and I love it. Or should you even ask me that; it is already manifested through the way I am, thus unifying myself, and my religion within, as a human being. I am a Mormon everyday, I live by this religion in everything I do; it is part of my body and my being. It is part of everything I experience in this mortal life.

--there you go. :)

Could have been

I've been in the room the whole day. I feel sick today since waking up. Gem and I could have gone to the silent protest in Luneta about the Pork Barrel Abolition, but because of some reasons, we weren't able to. I could have jogged around Ateneo, but I felt so tired and weak this morning. Moreover, I still have to do acad works like my part for histo report and a philo paper about phenomenology. So yeah, I must stay in the room.

I had an allergy attack again like last night. Good thing Gem gave me Marsthine, and it worked, it was really effective. I became sleepy, though. Now I feel sick again, as if my whole body's going to shatter (just exaggerating, ha ha).

So there, I just finished my part for Histo.. now, for Philo... I'm planning to talk about my religion. I'm gonna post my work here after meditating and putting it into words completely... ciao, for now.

Reflect

When I got home, my room mate's still awake so I was able to tell her almost everything that had happened in the album launch, including the problem. Basically, she knows everything (mostly). :))

I was supposed to go to church at 8:30am but my body did not permit me to do so, kaya I went to church at 12:30pm, after we ate lunch from chowking. It was really tiring yesterday, I wanted to sleep till the afternoon, pero JC called me on my phone. He sounded worried about Jake and his friend, and he made me worried to. after that he did not call again, so I really do not know what happened to them..

I asked Jake, sabi, he slept at JC's friend's house kasi he was so sleepy and could not drive much further. I do not know more than this, so don't ask further haha.

Well, as long as they are okay, it's fine with me. akala ko naman kasi napahamak na sila nung tumawag si JC, lol. 

anyway, it's the Lord's day today. I was able to attend the sacrament at 1pm. I was so sleepy, pero good thing I have learned a lot. It's just not clear to me why temple marriage is the main topic discussed. Then, nagets ko when the last speaker's topic was about "Families are Forever." Oh yes, I remembered my family. 

Once again, I felt the importance of the gospel in the family, and in our life; the decisions we make must be aligned to what the Lord wants for us. How do we know what He wanted? through His gospel. If we constantly ask for His guidance and at the same time do the things that we love or wanted for ourselves and for others, we will be directed accordingly. :)

It feels so good to spend time at the Lord's church today. I felt that, for a while, my problems were set aside and the Spirit let me feel the holiness of the atmosphere during that hour. 

Back at the dorm, yes I still feel tired, so I slept as I listened to uplifting songs. (yldsr.com)

when I woke up, I had an allergy attack on both my arms and neck. This is the greatest challenge that I face as of now, if I had a genie that grants wishes, this what I would wish to be gone forever in my life.

Because of this, I started to miss my old skin, haha, not this kind of skin na may rashes. Anyway, now, I have thought that the Lord has a purpose for this, on why I have to endure this kind of feeling and illness. What is that purpose? I don't know yet, but someday, I know I will realize it.

That topic aside, I remembered telling mom everything that had happened to me since yesterday. Everything, including what I did and felt. haha! I missed my mom so much. i thought she was going to scold me, pero no, nang asar pa. hahahah! i love her so much. Best mom ever. I'm so blessed.

Saturday Blast

What a Saturday!! I came home late Friday night because of rehearsals, then we ate at Kenny Rogers. The whole day (that Friday, before the rehearsals) was somehow fine. I had the chance to help in packing relief goods that will be delivered to people in Cavite, Laguna, etc. It is such a good feeling to help others, though it may seem to be of little importance.

I had a fun night with Blue Symphony friends, pero of course, I still have to study because I have LT for Epidemiology the next day. huhu. So when I went home, I slept for a few hours then studied until morning. I fell asleep again then woke up at 830. The class is at 9am. haha! So I immediately took a bath and wore a dress, para mabilis. then, took the exam. It was difficult, but manageable.

I really do hope that I can get a good grade from this test. I know the Lord heard my prayer, the question now is, is my effort enough for me to be worthy of that blessing? I don't know. I need more reflecting time.

Anyway the next agenda for yesterday was to eat at Shakey's for Enzo's celebration. kami kami nina JC, Jez, and Jerick ang magkakasama until the next agenda - to Purgatory Bar, Makati.. Album launch of Jack Versus the Crab (Jazz band: Guido, and Jacob Sarreal are one of the members)

I have to admit, the topics discussed while we were at Jerick's car (going to the venue) were not really pleasing, so most of the time, I just kept quiet and imagined some other things. Well, when we arrived there, it really SMELLS. uh, first time ko sa bar. of course I expected smoke and beer na pero I did not expect that it would be smoky and smelly. haha! Like I wanted to go home after we got there. Pero syempre, nandun na kami and I don't know how (and I'm scared) to go home by myself, so I might as well enjoy the night with friends :D

The band were so good, haha, though there were times when I can't understand the lyrics, the music was so good, it was lively and fun to listen to, especially the brass section, when they have their solo parts. Having them kinda makes the band unique and interesting to watch and hear.
It was a wonderful opportunity to witness a great God-given talent.

okay, so nalasing si Jc, at medyo tipsy si Jez, which were somehow, sources of the tension as we went home. Good thing we have a Kuya on board who helped us with the situation. :) He advised that these things should be figured out this morning, after resting.

So far, everything went fine, I hope.

Back

Happy Anniversary to my mom and dad!
and Happy Birthday to Enzo.

haaaaay. back to normal today. I had fun though :)
I'm glad I was able to explain well in Philosophy earlier. andami kong natutunan; now I know how to write a phenomenological paper. Choosing an EXPERIENCE na lang ang problem ko. haha.
tapos sa LS naman, I have learned more than I know, especially in motivating people...

bonding time with Ina, again. HAHA. She must not be alone. well, she requested. para raw di niya maisip YUN. yun na yun :))

we had so many pictures today...

anyway.. haha, as usual, inantok ako sa History, even if it is interesting kasi si Marcos ang topic. there were instances na gusto ko na talaga iyuko at itulog, pero there were topics about Marcos na nagigising talaga ako. ha ha ha.

In Socio-Anthro naman, the guest speaker was really inspiring when it comes to healthy living. Today I have learned that I should count the fiber that I take up and not the calories. balancing the fiber would help me more in equally choosing the food that I must eat, without worrying about the calories anymore. :)

aside from theses acads experiences, there were also fun moments with friends lalo na sa blue symphony friends, and thesis groupmates :)
I'm blessed to have them, kahit na medyo na-piss off ako dahil sa isang tao. I'm still blessed. haha, He really tested my patience today. :)

Mixed

A lot of emotions have been expressed today.
earlier this morning, I already felt so excited and nervous about the performance. I can't concentrate on anything, so I just prepared the things and myself for later's performance.

Though the weather is still crazy and scary, I prayed that everything will be fine.
However, due to inevitable circumstances, the show today was cancelled.

we were so ready, well almost... Willa, Nicole and I already looked fabulous with our hair and make up, pero it's like everything shattered, including my excitement, when Rein texted me that the performance is cancelled for today. Everything fell apart (exaggerating. haha). pero it felt like that. it was really saddening. i dont know. I understand naman, that it is for everyone's sake, at para walang mapahamak. I just regretted the money I spent for hair and make up. I should have waited some hours more before going to the salon..

anyway, para hindi masayang ang make up. nagpictorial na lang HAHAHA. kawawa naman kami. lol. just kidding. :)

uh, I went to buy comfort food, with my room mate. I'm really sad, kahit na alam kong matutuloy ito some other time, pero ewan eh, ganun talaga. kasi I am already expecting and imagining our performance, tapos biglang wala, parang nag brownout na lang. :))

okay. so, if it's really what the Lord wants, then it will be. thinking about it, kung natuloy, we are let's say "comfortably" performing, and yet, in some parts of the region are many people struggling to find food and shelter for the family. Moreover, the guests and other audience may have a hard time coming to Ateneo because of the bad weather. SO yeah, canceling the show is the best decision for now. :)


so, bonding moments na lang with Blue Symphony friends today...
I'm still trying hard to be productive tonight. haha. May pasok na bukas. Pero ayaw ko pa.

Oh i loved this night. I get to chat with one of my close friends, Ina. heart to heart talk. I hoped I was able to help her. Fun night, chatting with friends :D

Despite some sad news, I still felt the Lord's mercy and love for me today. The wind and the rain may be strong, but His love and power is stronger, and this keeps me protected and hopeful.

Tensed

Since yesternight, I have been worried about so many things.
After the rehearsals in Blue Symph, I suddenly realized that I am really part of the performance for later and tomorrow... this makes me more nervous. first time on stage with an orchestra :) but i know it will be a wonderful experience

I have also been anxious about the ASLA 1st phase results. I thought that I did not pass. I have already stated in my mind that maybe it was not meant for me, or better luck next time for me, pero hours after I got home, someone tagged me on a post about ASLA. I was really happy. I exclaimed here in my room. It was really a blessing for me. The Lord answered my prayer, He responded to what I desire. He really is wonderful. I am really thankful. Though first phase pa lang ng screening, still, it is really a beautiful blessing and opportunity that He has given me. If ever I pass the second phase, surely I will give everything that I have and that I will be, to God in return for this blessing.

Okay. due to the bad weather, the concert will not push through today. pero it will, tomorrow. The weather's so bad, i just went outside with my roommate to eat lunch. buti may bukas pang restaurants.

I hope and pray that everyone is safe, wherever you are.
Keep praying and asking for guidance and protection from the Lord. He truly answers prayers, especially those that are sincere.

Rainy day

Honestly, I can't hear the rain from my room.

I still pray that everyone is safe... I know the Lord will protect His children because He loves us. However, we also need to do our part. "Effort is required." let us keep ourselves away from harm :)

Well, today is a gloomy morning. Turning on the tv to hear the alarming news gave me forlorn feelings.
And it's Blue Symph's general rehearsal today. I sure hope that everything will be fine despite the bad weather/ the bed weather. haha.

putting that aside, there are also acads stuff to do.

I can do this! Aja! :))
stay safe everyone

Day 1

Hello reader(s), if there are any. Haha.

This is my first time to write and post on a blog. Let me express myself. Please forgive me na lang for wrong spelings or wrong grammar, or typo errors. Haha. Respect lang din. :)

I've had like more than 8 journals =  8 diaries, all hand written since I was 12 years old. And since I don't have much time writing, and more time online, I might as well type my experiences through an online journal. :) mas mabilis. :>

I hope that through my blog, you can get to know me, my attitude and my religion.

If you also have blogs, please teach me further

Thank you so much. :)